Here's Your Sign

Nothing irritates me more than stupidity and stupid people. Especially after I have had a hard and tiring day. If you have ever listened to comedian Bill Engvall, then you know about "the sign". Unfortunately, demand outstrips my supply.

Earlier today, Lori and I worked to get the house ready to go back on the market and after working extemely hard all day (I had to shower twice!) Lori and I were both tired and hungry. Neither of us felt like cooking, so we decided to go to IHOP for dinner. We had to stop by Lowe's for a new furnace filter and IHOP was right there, so it made a good choice. Besides, we had a 20% off coupon. What I didn't know was that by using the coupon, you also got 20% less waitress, most of it taken from the brain.

Now , I really shouldn't be surprised by this, service at our IHOP in Morgantown has always left something to be desired ever since it opened. That is why we don't go there very often. I will give our waitress a break and say that she had as long and exhausting day as we had. Still, I will never pass up an opportunity to hand out a sign.

I should have realized I needed to hand out a sign as soon as our the waitress began taking our order. I asked for one of IHOP's flavored lemonade / lemon-lime sodas. IHOP calls them Splashers. They have three:

• Sparkling Cherry Lemonade - with lemonade, lemon-lime soda, and a sweet cherry flavored syrup


• Tropical Island Twist - with lemonade, lemon-lime soda, and a tropical mango flavored syrup
  
  and


• Splashberry - with strawberries, lemonade, and orange juice.

I ordered the Splashberry. After ordering, the waitress asked "That's the one with the strawberries in it right?" No, it is the one with the mangoes. DUH! Of course it is the one with the strawberries, hence the word "berry" in the name. Maybe I am wrong, I can only go by what the menu said.

After the waitress brought our drinks, (and yes, she brought the correct one with strawberries) we placed our order. I asked for the Bacon Temptation Omelette which comes with a side of pancakes. For the side of pancakes, I ordered the pineapple upside down pancakes which are a limited-time special for IHOP's Hawaiiam promotion. Our waitress then asked me, "How do you want your eggs cooked?" Hmmmmmm, let's see, I would like my omelette hard boiled please. DUH! How else would you make an omelette? Poached, over-easy, sunnyside up -- they just don't make for very good omelettes. At least not in my experience. What's worse is that this IS NOT the first time I have been asked that question when ordering an omelette at this very same IHOP.

Do I give the sign to the manager for hiring these people or to the waitress for just not having a clue. Oh, wait, she had as long and hard of a day as I did, but I bet I could still tell you how you want your eggs cooked when you order an omelette.

Here's your sign!